Ruth turned around and shouted “I don’t need to be saved by you.” That is what all cult members would tell you while they are in a cult. And this is probably the biggest “no go” for helping somebody who is obviously in an organization which does not have their best interest in mind. You want to respect the others person’s interest, their belief system and their personal freedom to choose their own way in their life. That is why people back off at this point. Many people decide to just avoid the topic or even worse, they avoid the person. When Ruth shouted at me, I was devastated and felt like there was no hope if she is not even seeing that there is anything wrong. She could not see the obvious manipulation, the insane money spending. Nobody outside the cult could understand the cause. What I didn’t know and most other people don’t know is that a cult member is mind control and there is no cult member in the world who thinks that he or she needs to be saved. So, please understand if you see obvious signs that somebody close to you is in a group which shows all the alarming signs of a cult, be prepared that you cannot expect them to see it as well. If you are not sure than take our Cult Questionnaire. Don’t be devastated and please don’t avoid the person. Here is what you should do instead:
- Don’t challenge the group or the leader anymore in any Conversation you have with the member. Instead, improve the relationship you have or heal it.
- Learn what a destructive Cults is which empowers you to see how the members cult works
- Learn what an intervention is and how it works
- Organize an intervention and get the member out of the cult.
Our website will provide in the next upcoming weeks more material about all these tasks.
There is another big misconception I did read and hear. People often think that if they get their loved one out of the cult then the person would just sign up for some other cult. Believe me that is far from the truth. There is a phenomenon called cult-hopping where the ex-member tries to find another leader to save them. But this only happens if the person has not been gone through an intervention. When members learn in the intervention how a cult work they have all the live time tools to recognize a cult by the faint smell of it. It is basically like a kid which learns that Santa is just a old man with the fake white beard and a cheap costume. You cannot unlearn that knowledge and they will never believe in Santa again. Or have you seen one?
Ex-cult members who go through an intervention are actually less likely to get back into the same situation. So please stay hopeful and positive and get started.